The Tales of Byakuya Togami
by Strigentine
Summary: It's all about Byakuyo TogaMI, not Byakuyo TogaYU. (Contains spoiler material.)
1. Chapter 1

It was such a beautiful day. Well perhaps not outside, this much remained unknown considering the huge slabs of metal plates bolted on every window. But what day went by that was unblessed for him simply for being who he was? The heir arose in bed and took his time getting ready. At last all the morning rituals were completed, and the time came to join everyone in the cafeteria. Today would truly prove to be an interesting one, he surmised.

On arriving to the lunchroom, Togami noted its vacancy. Nobody had arrived yet. Very typical considering none of the others respected others' time at all. Naturally they all had something much more important to do. Brush their hair, admire their face, marvel at their clothes- on that note it was no wonder they always took so long. All of the other classmates were wonderful. The only reason he had even arrived so early was just that he happened to finish these tasks earlier. Truly the elite one. Or perhaps the inferior… did he not take enough time venerating himself? It was inconsequential. The others were beginning to lazily join him.

The first to arrive was Byakuya Togami. He looked quite striking and the glare cast on his glasses from the poor fluorescent lights gave him a beautiful sense of mystery. He would have to remember to attempt this for his own to gain that charm.

"Good morning, Byakuya Togami."

"And the same to you, Byakuya Togami," Byakuya Togami replied.

"Did you happen to see Byakuya Togami come through?"

"No, he must be coming." Surely enough, Byakuya Togami came in from the halls. What nice stature he had.

"It is nice to see you, Byakuya Togami."

"You as well, Byakuya Togami. Did you want to tell me something?"

Byakuya Togami fumbled with his words for only a slight moment, he could not lose composure. It would be most out of character of him. "I was wondering if you wanted to spend some time together today reading in the library."

"I think that would be fine," Byakuya Togami admitted. There was a strange bond between the two. Byakuya Togami held a strong respect for Byakuya Togami.

Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami wandered in at varying intervals.

As usual, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami kept to their trio. The Triokuya Togami. Byakuya Togami was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria ogling Byakuya Togami dreamily. How irresistibly attractive Byakuya Togami was. But he would probably not requite the feelings. He probably liked Byakuya Togami more than him. And he had to admit, Byakuya Togami was pretty amazing.

Others were going about their morning business with each other, but all was shaken when Monogami interrupted.

"It is good to see you, byakustards. I hope you slept well." Byakuya Togami groaned. Monogami's red optic flicked toward him with a low mechanic whir as it focused on him.

"Is something wrong, Byakuya Togami?" Monogami's voice lowered eerily.

"No. Everything's fine," Byakuya Togami all but snapped, knowing better than to offend Monogami.

"What do you want," Byakuya Togami demanded. "You are disrupting our orgy." He was quite protective of his time, it was not allowed to just be squandered on anyone. Scheduling was the ideal way of making the most of your time.

"I have arranged a special event for today."

"How much will it cost to not participate," Byakuya Togami replied, taking a sizable amount of Byakuya Togamoney from his wallet.

"I do not need your Byakuya Togamoney," Monogami returned snidely. "I have more than plenty as is."

"Have it your way."

"I always do. Today's activity is Byakuya Togamandatory. It is a science fair where you will build lethal contraptions. Perhaps all the better for Byakilling somebody?" Nobody argued the morality in this. Instead they were more focused on successfully fulfilling the challenge and earning an opportunity to Byakuya Tograduate. They all poured into the library and commenced their studies. Although Byakuya Togami had other plans… He approached Byakuya Togami.

"Byakuya Togami," Byakuya Togami began, "This all seems to be a waste of time. Would you like to join me in exploring the school? We may find something helpful elsewhere instead of coming up with a device identical to everyone else's." After thinking about it for a moment, Byakuya Togami agreed. It seemed sensible. It could produce something unique and Byakuya Bettogami than everyone else's.

So Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami headed out the door inconspicuously and began to freely roam the halls. The lighting was dim, but Byakuya Togami's hair still glimmered in the most captivating way. Byakuya Togami could not help but notice… or become entranced by it. It was so light and carried such volume. Byakuya Togami longed to touch those golden tresses. They probably felt like the finest silk. But this thought process ceased when the Byakuya Twogami came across a rather old and unused looking door. They resolved to enter.

It probably had not been used in countless years. It was now used as nothing more than an spacious assemblage for dust. Was that what Byakuya Togami thought he saw? Perhaps it was. He sprinted forward to snatch it off the table. Byakuya Togami advanced and stood in front of him. Observing with fierce intensity from behind his glasses, he blew on the book to clear it of its dust. It was! A lost volume of methods of Byakuya Torturami and serial murderers with descriptions of preferred techniques!

The cloud of dust had been gusted into Byakuya Togami's face. He produced an elegant sneeze at which point Byakuya Togami became Genocider Syogami. Byakuya Togami was too observed by his find to notice this change in character. But the attention of both was broken when there was a voice heard from the other side of the room.

"Have you seen my Byakuya Togamomi?" It was Teru Teru Hanamura. Genocider Syogami killed him because the cute chef was in the wrong game. Byakuya Togami drew back in shock from this random action. Genocider Syogami could not help but to blush from the pleasure of it all. But a student had witnessed the kill… Perhaps he could get this to work out.

"If you keep quiet then I will care for your Byakuya Togamini," he breathed indicating Byakuya Togami's trousers. He raised an eyebrow to this offer.

What will happen Byakuya Nextogami? Stay Byakuya Tunegami'd and find out next time on "Byakuya Byakuya Toga-Byakuya Togami Gomita Byakugami Togakuya Byakuya Akuyabyakuya Togamikuya Byakuya Togami."


	2. The Elective Chapter 2

I honestly had no intentions of continuing this story, but it was requested that I do so. I did not have any plot prepared for it, but I came up with this idea while voice acting the last chapter with a friend. I'm sorry.

Monogami had decided that the projects, to encourage sabotage, cheating, and suspense would wait until the following day to unveil.

The Byakuya Tosuni was shining brightly and intensely. And this time it was clear, it beamed harshly upon the flushed faces of Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami. Byakuya Togami was Byakuya Toclosely latched to Byakuya Togami in their shared bed. The boring rays awakened them and they hastily sat up. It would be stupid of them to thoughtfully narrate their concerns Byacause Togami anyone could tell the problem. Though they assumed that the reader of this Byakuya Totastrophe must surely be of the lowest caliber of idiots and decided to indulge. There should be no sun shining on their radiant faces! They were supposed to be caged in that school!

Byakuya Togami decided to Byakuya Togaminvestigate and stepped out of the bed and disappeared. Byakuya Togami looked over the edge, too intelligent to copy the act and noted water sustaining it. Byakuya Togami was floating just below the edge of the sheets. How Byaqueer Togami. Looking around, Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami noted that Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami, Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami were also in their beds on the water.

Byakuya Togami and Byakuya Togami awoke those who had not yet done so themselves and they swam for shore leaving their beds as cheap flotsam. They soon found Monogami approaching them from the docks, wearing nothing more than a clam shell Byakini Topami and bottom. They each marveled in his pulchritude. Such amazing form, and each line a true blessing. Such amazing muscles enclosed within the mussels! But none of them could bear to go further into detail lest they embarrass themselves.

"Good morning, you glorious bastards," Monogami announced.

"What the hell is happening," Byakuya Togami demanded to know.

"What the hell happened to you," Monogami shot back, revealing what had until then been unnoticed. Byakuya Togami was wearing Byakuya Togami's underwear!

"Byakuya Togami slept with Byakuya Togami," Byakuya Togami shouted. They were all filled with Byakuya Tojealousy.

"Actually, I'm Genocider Syogami. It was very heinously pleasurable… using coin rolls to help Byakuya Togami Byakuya Tocumi!" Genocider Syogami's tongue twitched both deviously and suspiciously.

"Stop," Monogami said, holding up a hand. "You are going to get this Byakuya Tostory banned." Everyone silently muttered that they knew Byakuya Togami was actually Genocider Syogami calmly… Monogami adjusted his shells and continued. "I got tired of the school setting. It was simply too dreary for you marvelous bastards. So I skipped ahead a Byakuya Togamei and relocated your beds and projects to an island while you slept."

"Where are we?"

"Welcome to Camp Byakuyawawanakwa Togami." It seemed appropriate as per their assignment, and was there really a difference? Aside from the better atmosphere, of course.

"Byakuya Todammit…"

"On this island I have hidden in random locations your school projects! For a little added spice to keep you on your Byakuya Toesgami. They may be placed somewhere dangerous. Perhaps impossible. Near. Far. Wherever they are, you've got to find them if you wish to go on, and on. But there is a twist!"

"Of course there is."

"Because none of you braved sabotage last night, much to my disappointment-"

"-It was a safety precaution to evade confrontation-"

"_Much to my disappointment_. I do not feel like risking it now. It would be too easy to find another team's project first and destroy it. And considering the work you have to go through to find it, you will accept whichever project you find first! And you must rely on your peers' cunning to keep you afloat on a wooden door."

"That's dumb."

"So is the sudden turn of plot, but if you don't mention it other more dimwitted people might not Byacknowledge Togamit."

"Whatever! Last night wore me out, I want something to eat. Fix me an omelets," Genocider Syogami snapped.

"Well I would have gladly gotten you all breakfast if you hadn't killed our fucking chef in the last chapter. But since you did, we don't have anyone to prepare food, so enjoy picking berries and sticking your fists down rabbit holes or fish grasping."

"I already did all of that last night," Genocider Syogami returned.

"That's it, the story's done for. Genocider Syogami has successfully transcended meta and ripped apart any chance of this story continuing with his scissors. And so help me if you mention that as another activity you partook in last night I will execute all of you right now." Genocider Syogami was silent. "Okay then. On the subject of execution, Genocider Syogami should be punished for having killed another student/staff member. However since Teru Teru was not in the right story, the murder was vindicated. But I have decided to proceed with the punishment regardless. Genocider Syogami will be ex-eggcuted. His punishment is that he will have no eggs for breakfast. Even though, to beat him to it, we all know he had them for dinner."

"You're no fun."

"And you ruined all chance of this story being serious or even slightly quality but look where we are Byakuya Nowgami." All of the characters then acted as though none of these events transpired and didn't ruin the flow as the author finally regained control of them. Things were once more in-universe just in time for the next chapter granted there is one. Monogami let his students loose to begin their search for their challenge.


End file.
